Out of the mouths of my babes...

Almost daily something funny or touching happens, or is said, that I want to remember forever. I should write these things down.
"You should write those things down!" my mother is always saying. Noooo...really?! I keep meaning too, but life just sweeps me along.
Here are a few that pop into my mind as I'm heading off to bed.

The second day the children woke up in our home, they both gathered at the kitchen window early in the morning while I was making breakfast. They were still very quiet, and Briana piped up with, "Can we go play in the park?" "What park, Sweetie?" I asked rather distractedly. "That one." she said pointing out the window. "That's our back yard, Briana. You can certainly play there." "That belongs to you?" She asked with surprise in her voice. "Well, that belongs to all of us now, it's your back yard too, Briana." She began instantly to tell Brandon how much fun they were going to have in their new back yard, and all the games they would play. I was wiping my tears over at the sink, of course...and NOT because I was in desperate need of coffee, mind you.

One evening Briana was talking about how excited she was for Christmas. She said she couldn't wait to wake up on Christmas morning and get her stocking full of goodies and canned goods. "Canned goods?" we asked? "Yeah, like candy and stuff." Hmmmm...someone may be getting a can of creamed corn in their stocking from here on out, along with the goodies, it will be a funny new tradition.

When I took the children to shop for Matt's Christmas presents this year, we made a day of it and went to the Rockaway Mall. They've only been there once before, and are completely enthrauled by it. Since their Mama isn't a fan of shopping (I've got hobbies, thanks.), we do NOT do the mall thing. They've been begging to go for about 2 yrs.
We got there early in the morning, and had a lot of fun with our list of gift ideas we'd put together, focusing all our attention on what Papa would LOVE to recieve. They'd been talking about how they KNEW that Santa was sometimes in malls, they'd experienced this when they were really young...we have the photo to prove it. They both kept saying, "He's probably not here. He's probably busy in the North Pole." They clearly didnt' want to get their hopes up...it was quite touching to see how cautious they were. I surprised them by leading them right to the "Santa area" of the mall, and they were shrieking and jumping up and down with joy, their arms wrapped around my leg and waist. Briana had tears in her eyes she was so beside herself. There was practically no one there, so we were able to get to him in moments. Both children rushed him and threw their arms around him. He was quite surprised! Brandon scrambled right up onto his knee (uninvited, mind you), and Briana sat next to him, snuggled right up under his arm. She looked up at him with sheer bliss on her face and said, "I would like a doll bed." And Brandon said, "I'd like a train. And a reindeer. Please." "I'll, I'll do my best..." Santa answered a bit weakly.
The picture of the children with Santa is one of the best pictures I've ever seen of them. They looked totally joyful, relaxed, and full of blissful wonder. It was a precious experience for me! We gave the picture to Matt as a surprise Christmas gift.

At the end of bedtime prayers last night, Briana clearly wanted to prolong the actual going to bed part of the ritual. She quickly asked if she could say a "special prayer" for all of us. She began quite seriously, "Dear Lord, please help us to love one another... and to be more complicated (WHAT?!)", blah, blah, blah...she began throwing in BIG vocab words left and right that made no sense at all, I do believe the word obliterated was used...and finally I had to cut her off and say, "Ahhh, Bri? Do you know what any of those words mean?"
Matt and I were totally laughing at this point, and she giggled and said, "Nahhhh...not really."
Man...such a staller, no?

Briana recieved a super cute horseback riding themed computer game for Christmas, from Brandon. It's a story about a young girl who's family moved to the country from the "big city", and they buy a farm, and she gets to have a horse of her own. Did I mention it's super cute? Anyway, the graffics are great (man, am I such a geek that I was compelled to mention that?!), and after she spent an afternoon playing it, she was dying for me to join in on the fun and give it a try myself. I was happy to oblige. She quickly got bored watching me learn the ropes of the game, and went off to play with new dollies and such. Brandon was glued to my side though, still soooo obsessed with everything horses. When I FINALLY was able to successfully jump the horse in the practice ring, he threw his arms around me and said,
"Mama, that makes me want to marry you right now!"
Woah, Nellie... :)

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...

Before we put 2007 to bed, I thought I'd better pause and ponder a bit about some of the things that have been a part of my world since I started writing here.

Reading back over my blog entries, there are SO many stories, happenings, challenges, and blessings that didn't get written about. Shoot! There just aren't enough hours in a day to tell it all.

In the Fall of '06 my sister Shannon married her sweet husband, Ian. What a truly joyous way to begin that winter. It's been wonderful to watch them become a married couple, the love they have for one another is a beautiful evidence of God's Grace, for all of us.

This Sept. the children and I began our adventure with the St. Gregory the Great Homeschool Co-Op. It's been such a wonderful experience of community. Being a part of a group of truly on-fire women who share the richness of our Catholic faith, offer mutual support, and who are deeply commited to creating a rich educational experience for all our children...wow. There are no words! It's been a gigantic blessing and asset to our family.

The children had their first experience performing in the NJ Civic Youth Ballet production of The Nutcracker, a few weeks ago. This professional ballet company experience for children, who get to work along side adult pro's...what a cool thing! I was asked to give one of the important props of the show, the Swan Sleigh, a total make-over. I got it moved into my kitchen, and then it began to rain...and that turned to snow....and so the swan stayed and stayed and stayed...smack dab in the middle of kitchen. Thanksgiving was only days away, and I was still coating the entire thing in irridecent glitter. It DID get finished in time for me to host a small group for Thanksgiving at my house, minus the swan. It shimmered and sparkled on the stage, thank goodness...and if anyone wonders where the fairies live...they must be here at #27 Forest Rd., because no amount of vacuuming is removing the ever-present pixie dust that now resides here. Both children had a wonderful, truly fun experience being a part of the production. It's certainly an experience that none of us will ever forget. They were the cutest tin soldiers I've EVER seen, that's for SURE!

I've been working on my novel (if that's not the most grandious sounding statement, I don't know WHAT is)...or maybe I should say I've been "playing novelist", randomly and sporatically, for months now. My inspiration comes and goes, but the other night I found myself working on the storyline at about 3 a.m. while laying in bed trying to trick my body into thinking I'm actually asleep. I may be ready keep going, and put some of those nocturnal ponderings into my computer. You never know. But what a fun thing to fool around with!

Briana is prepairing to recieve the Sacrament of Reconcilliation in January, and then her First Communion in May. I can hardly take that in! So much bounty in one year! It's so exciting to see her SO thrilled with what she's learning in CCD. She turned to me when we were walking up for me to recieve Eucharist on Christmas Eve, and she and I hold hands (otherwise who ever is handing out Eucharist tries to give to her too, because she's so tall!) so I can keep her next to me, and she whispered with such intensity, "I can't wait until I can recieve Jesus!" It's moments like that that remind me why I was born.

Matt and I watched what was promised to be the most scientific, definitive special FINALLY laying bare all the evidence about the existence of Sasquatch, or you might say, Big Foot.
I am sorry to inform all of you that even after extensive research that was indeed layed bare during two grueling hours of tv viewing...I may NOT be a believer after all.
But all is not lost, tonight there's another show about Swamp Creatures that promises similar proof...I'll keep you posted.

I've had a really great experience in my Physical Therapy, for this darn knee. All is quieted down for now, no impending surgery at present. I'll wait until Spring to set up a summer surgery, if the Dr. still agrees to do it. All in all, the prayers of everyone this time around truly made a difference in my life. The recovery has been pretty great, and my life is not too hampered at the moment...so I'm content for the time being. My ice dancing (pairs, of course) career may be shot to hell...but hey, I'll be 40 next November, so the whole thing had a shelf life anyway.

Reuniting with my old classmates from Mt. St. John's after 20 yrs. was a REALLY special happening in 2007. It's been so wonderful to keep track of one another via e-mails, to see so many pictures of their beautiful children...and to just be reconnected. What an amazing group of strong, bright, accomplished women...to think we all wore knee highs, started food fights, and mocked our teachers together!

Sharing in the 20 yr. reunion in my home town, for the Bernards High class of '87 was another wonderful happening this year. It was so amazing to talk with people I've not seen in so many years...to see some of the people who had such an impact on my teen years and my faith journey, and to share some beautiful, and often hysterical, memories. What a rich life I have, and what a blessing this reunion was.

My sister Erin Patricia, and her husband Lou, announced the impending arrival of their first child, this Fall. She now has an adorable baby belly...and is one of the prettiest pregnant girls you could ever see! She's due in April, only a few weeks before Meghan get's married...so we'll all be begging for turns holding the baby throughout that festive day, I'm sure. Erin is one of the most beautiful women I know, watching her grown in holy womanhood during her college years was such a huge blessing for me and my life. She and I became dear friends, companions on the journey, during that precious time. I'm so proud of who she is, and seeing her carrying this new life, it's such a miracle! I can't wait to know this little person who Erin, Lou and God created together. This will be just one more way that God reveals Himself to me, I'm sure.

Matt and I celebrated our third Christmas with our children, this year. Our morning at home was just wonderful. They make everything so magical! Gift giving and recieving was more fun that it's been since I was a child, and we had a beautiful brunch together around our dining room table. It was a really special day, of course. We celebrated Christmas afternoon/evening this year at Maura and Seth's house here in Budd Lake. What a cozy day we had! Everyone gathered to share delectable food offerings, wine (shots of Irish Whiskey), time around the fire place in the dining room, and around the wood stove in the living room (man, we love FIRE)...we did our Secret Santa gift exchange (always so fun and festive), we sang carols while Maura accompanied us on guitar...and all-in-all had the most festive and picture perfect Christmas I can remember in my adult life. I don't think anyone wanted the day to end.

Matt and I are nearing our 14th Wedding Anniversary, on Feb. 25th. I've been really aware of what a life-changing blessing he's been to my universe these past 14 yrs. I can honestly say that he's so much more than I even imagined...way back when. His ability to empathise with others, how communicative he is about his love for me, how well he lives out his vocation as husband and father...Jesus is revealed to me through Matt in ways that I never thought I'd deserve! Do you know that song from The Sound of Music that Maria and the Captain sing to one another? It's when they finally admit that they are in love..."nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could...so somewhere in my wicked childhood, I must have done something good...for here you are standing there, loving me...whether or not you should..." they are awed that such incredible love has come to them. That's exactly how I feel! I know, I've taken my geekdom to a whole new level admitting my deep connection to that song...but that song plays through my mind on a regular basis. That might be my internal theme song for my relationship with Matt. He's a continual revelation to me, a daily blessing, the best friend I've ever had, my greatest champion, so often the preserver of my dreams, and the greatest evidence I've had for 14 yrs. that Love is a Mighty thing. No matter what life throws at you. No matter what.

And there you have it. This is still absolutely inadequate in representing the beauty of all the people and experiences that I'm so richly blessed to have in my life.

2007 was another year of growing, loving, and living the life that I've been blessed to recieve. I look forward to all the ways that 2008 will unfold because I know Who'll be holding us all the while.

You all will continue to be in our prayers, and I pray that this new year will bring many blessings to you and yours. Sending Christmas hugs, New Year's cheers, and a lot of love.
Peace~in Christ,
Brig

Eat Pray Love

I just read the most delectable, delicious book. I say that because if I could eat it with a fork and ingest the whole thing I would. It's that good. The writing is just...there are NO words that will do it justice! If I had to make a list of the top 5 books I've read in the last 10 years...this would be one of them. Right under The Secret Life of Bees, lest we forget! This book is split into three sections...each one representing 1/3 of a year when she devoted her life to searching for God. She went to Italy in the pursuit of Pleasure, India in pursuit of Devotion, and Bali in pursuit of Balance. Although her beliefs, and path to God, differ from mine...I found her humility and bravery to be touching and inspiring. She's wholly human, flawed, sincere and deeply funny. I don't think it matters what your religious/faith affiliation is when you read this book, it left me with a (renewed) deeper gratitude for my Catholicism, and my relationship with Jesus. If you are as touched by other peoples faith journeys, as I am, this book will be a feast.

I put the link for the authors web site here because what Elizabeth Gilbert says here about writing has really touched me.

Reading this essay has me realizing that maybe the magic moment of knowing when and what and where to write has been here all along for me. I've been placing an enormous amount of value on my making (or not making, as the case may be) the pointed decision to write something with the idea of pursing being published. What I get from Gilbert's essay is that maybe what I should care about is just being read...just sharing what comes out, even if it's value isn't all that apparent to me beyond the obvious value of the actual getting-it-out experience. So, with that said...I hope you enjoy her musings, and that it inspires you too.

Also, if I could tell you to RUN, literally run and buy or borrow any book TODAY...well, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert would be it.

http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/writing.htm

Also, if you read this book by Gilbert and want to see the entire Oprah episode with her as the guest, I've got it stored in my TV and would LOVE to share it with any of you who'd like to come over! :)

Scott Hahn on the Mass

What a gift Scott Hahn is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s-6skg79y8

The Mystery of the Missing Book...

My friend Janet is a wealth of good books, among other things. Having 5, noooo 6 (as of Wed.!) children, her house is a veritable library of carefully chosen books for children (and adults!). Spanning pre-school to adult level classics of every breadth and width, she's got you covered. It's been really fun to squeal with glee together when we discover how many of our "favorite" books from our early book-worm lives are mutual...we are suckers for Anne of Green Gables, all Louisa May Alcott, The Secret Garden, all the Little House books...you're seeing the pattern?

She recently lent me a book that had never crossed my path before, one of her favorites from her young teen (and even now) years. The Wolves of Willoughby Chase was written in 1962, and is the first of what became known as the Wolves Chronicles. Her description of it had me drooling...think the gothic drama of Jane Eyre, meets The Secret Garden. As she put it, "it's got everything a girls book should have, know what I mean?" I did!
We borrowed a large stack of books for Briana, who's reading like a fiend, and she immediately dug in. I brought The Wolves home with me, added it to my "to read" pile, and went about my reading business...three books away from even getting to it yet. Five days later, Briana has read 3 of her 5 borrowed novels, and I'm ready to read the much anticipated Wolves. I've got a large mug of tea, it's pouring rain...and the day was made for THIS book. I go to my trusty book stack, and... it's not there. Did I leave it in the kitchen somewhere? No...in my library space in the front of the house? No...

"Briana, have you seen the book Janet lent me anywhere? I can't remember what I did with it."

And my 7 year old daughter says in a very off-hand manner,

"Oh sure, I'm reading it right now. You can have it when I'm finished, or I can just tell you all about it now if you don't want to wait."

I can't believe that she budged in my book line and swiped my book! I hope it's the first of many, because it's pretty much the fulfillment of a life-long dream of mine.
Does it get any better than this?! I mean, really...she handed the book to me today and assured me that I'm going to love it, and she can't wait to talk about it...but doesn't want to ruin the surprise by talking about it NOW, before I've read it. OH MY.

Let's go Tulling...

Some of my happiest memories from my teen years are of times spent with the finest guys any girl could hope to know. We'd all bonded because of our shared experiences in our church Youth Group, and Antioch retreat program. Some of us had known one another since childhood, and our families were good friends. Our faith connection helped create a dynamic that was pretty wonderful. These were guys I really knew, I respected them, and trusted them implicitly.

I can still return to those days in my mind, to the moment of fun anticipation when John would say, "Let's go Tulling!", and several of us would pile into a car and drive around listening to Jethro Tull. I remember us us sitting in Jody's car and looking at the moon, from the playground of our grammar school, St. E's...and talking about God, our dreams of the future, and the mysteries of life and our faith. I'd fill them in on vitally important tid bits that they were convinced only girls know, things to help them with "women." I have this vivid memory of Greg really wanting to know what the heck the whole deal was with "periods", fertility, and pregnancy...and the very biological conversation that followed. Our science teachers would have been proud of the complex explanation that Todd, Jody and I threaded together! There was much debate about the specific details..."where do those Fallopian tubes go again?!"...but I think we sorted it all out. That still makes me laugh! I'm not sure that any of my advice helped them at all, but they didn't really need me to unlock any secrets for them. I know I lamented about my various boyfriends, and they always helped me make sense of the challenges of dealing with romance and guys...because after all, "you know how guys can be." I always felt my most relaxed and accepted with these guys...no one cared what you were wearing, how your hair looked...most especially me. I was my most unselfconscious...what a gift to a teen girl. They made me feel so wonderful...the humor was always sharp and witty...the conversation was often hysterical, irreverent, deep, outrageous, and full of all the good things you'd hope for on a warm summer night.

I remember how bittersweet those times became for me, as the summer of our senior year drew to a close. I knew that with everyone heading off in various directions all over the globe, we were making these memories on borrowed time. I was right. Life grew more complicated, busy, and we slowly disconnected as so often happens. But I look back on those years, and those boys, with such gratitude. I was at my best with those brother/friends...I felt safe and powerful as a young woman, validated and enjoyed, by the smartest, funniest, wisest guys I knew. It wasn't uncommon for our evenings to end with someone saying, "Hug Huddle!", and we'd gather in a huddle in someones driveway for a group hug. I remember losing a small pearl earring in Jack's driveway because of a hug huddle...and all those boys earnestly trying to find it for me. We never found it, and I remember wondering why I didn't care more. I still have half that earring set, and I keep it to remind me of a time when we were all on the brink of growing up, of the gifts we shared, the sheer fun and silliness of those times...and the love I felt for each of those precious friends crawling around in the dark sifting through the rocks, for me.

A dream is a wish your heart makes...

We are finally catching our breathe after our vacation in Florida. Disney truly wipes me out! We'd watched some TV show about Disney World before we went on our trip, we wanted the kids to get excited about where we were going. It got them asking a lot of questions, but I think that they didn't really comprehend that we were going to the place they were seeing on TV. We arrived in Florida and spent a relaxing day sleeping and swimming, at a local hotel. It was great to not head right into the whole Disney experience. We had time to recover after the two day drive. (We stopped in a hotel over night, between those two days...the driving portion of our trip actually ended up being great!) On Sunday we moved into the resort at Disney, Key West. It was lovely and peaceful. Very pretty pastel colored buildings with white gingerbread...and we had an oasis outside of our balcony, the pool and hot tub down below. There were very few people there, and it was always quiet. Just what I'd hoped for. Our first day heading to the park, was our Magic Kingdom outing. Briana was playing it cool on the bus. All along she'd been pretty low-key about the impending trip. We came to the conclusion that she didn't want to get excited because she didn't want to be disappointed. She was dead-pan on that bus ride, I wondered if she was going to be happy at all. Brandon was excited enough for both of them. He was gripping my hand, grinning at us...squirming with anticipation. When we spotted the roof line of Cinderellas castle over the trees on the horizon...he squealed like I've never heard him squeal! He was jumping up and down in his seat, totally freaking out! Briana turned to me with big eyes and gravely said, "Mama, if I get to see Cinderella...I'm going to tell her that dreams really DO come true." They she leaned into my arms and stayed there for the rest of the ride. I was so touched by her caution, her awe...I was trying to subtly wipe tears off my face!

Each day brought it's own fun. We had days where we stayed at th resort and just relaxed together...swimming, taking naps, playing. We tried to pace ourselves with our treks to Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Epcot, MGM. The children were most thrilled with the Magic Kingdom. Briana informed us that it was "really magical." After a few hours at Epcot, she turned to me and said, with some disapointment, "this place is NOT magical." LOL...OH WELL, can't win 'em all, eh? Much of Epcot was under construction, or so it seemed. All the kiosks were closed, and there was not one single performer on the street, no outdoor concerts going on...NOTHING. All you could do was shop and eat. The few rides that we did go on over on the entrace side of the park, were fun...the space "trip" to Mars was our absolute favorite. I would have done it again and again! I loved the ambience of Animal Kingdom, thought the Africa area was super cool. The street performers were awesome, the kids were part of a dancing/drum show...they thought that was awesome. We were pretty disapointed with the Safari, not too many impressive animals...and the scripted banter of the tour guide/driver was cheesey. We had a very close encounter with gorillas in another section of that park, and that was really incredible. My biggest surprise of the week, and Matt's I think, was how much we loved MGM. That was our last day in Disney, and the place was pretty mellow...not too many people. We thought the old fashioned sound-stage type streets were just SO cool. Being an old movie fanatic myself...there was a lot of fun to be had there. The children had a ball...we loved the Beauty and the Beast show, fantastic. The Little Mermaid Show was also great...the Narnia attraction got Matt and I VERY excited for the next film installment in the series...and much more. Our lunch reservations got us our very own 50's kitchen, with "Mom" waiting on us hand and foot. It really was incredible, all antiques and authentic kitchy treasures, cabinets, table and chairs...each kitchen area had it's own color scheme and details...and the vintage tv next to your table on the kitchen counter top played clips from some of the best shows of the 50's. The food was top notch, and the atmosphere and gimick of it all was just so cool! We had dinner that day, in MGM, at the Sci-Fi Diner...the coolest place EVER. You go into a building and you end up "under the stars" in a fax drive-in movie theater that only shows clips from original old-school sci-fi movies. The place is full of vintage looking cars that are actually where you sit, at a table, and eat. The food was really great, and the atmosphere was just amazing.

It's taken about a week for Matt and I to recover from the vacation. Why do we come home to recover from vacation when we've gone on vacation to rejuvenate from the day-to-day at home?! We had a totally relaxing 2-day drive home, stopping to spend half a day in Savannah...one of my favorite places. We ate on the water, walked around in the balmy evening enjoying the jazz musicians, horse-drawn carraiges, and festive energy of the place. We initially tried to get reservations at Paula Deene's restaraunt, A Lady and Sons...but alas, they don't take reservations, and you have to walk in around 3pm to get on a list for dinner. Bummer, but next time we'll know better. It was still rather exciting to see the outside of the place (the kids and I waited in the running car while Matt jogged in to case out the joint), having seen it on tv so many times. We ate where we've eaten before, right on the water, (watching the ships go by was very exciting for the kids, and Matt...) and had a totally delish meal. My mint julip did NOT disapoint...who cares about food at a time like that anyway. :)

I've discovered that one of my favorite things about going on vacation is how much I love coming home. Walking through our front door that night was just the best feeling. We spent this week catching up on house-work, on-going renovation prjects, school work, the kids ballet and tap classes, Nutcracker rehearsal for both of them, their CCD, etc.

Matt goes back to work tomorrow, and we're all VERY sad to see this long time of having him home with us (16 days!) end. Maybe that's the best testament to a successful vacation...after everything, we're still not ready to have less time together back here in the "real world."
Lucky us.

Love letter for La La...

The children and I were driving to our first day of school at our homeschool co-op last Thursday, in Orange, NJ. For those of you aware of my total lack of directional skills...you won't be surprise to hear that when our navigational system, (we call her Lily) started turning herself off...I was up a creek! It turns out the main cord was pushed in too much...but by the time I realized this we were a little bit off track. We were driving along and all of a sudden I said, "This road reminds me of Michaela's neighborhood...neat." And then a moment later we all yelled simultaneously, "That was La La's car!" We were in Bloomfield (unbenownst to me), and actually only 4 miles from our school. Go figure!
I had to turn the car around and leave a love note on Chael's car...if it had been any later than 9:15, we would have banged on her door. I'm no fool though, I know this girl...and there was no way she was awake! It was such a fun way to start the day, feeling so close to my little sissy...so often Bloomfield seems like it's oceans away. It made her seem closer somehow, knowing she was near our once-a-week school...and knowing that I could get lost and end up passing her house, of all houses, in this great wide world of ours. I had a warm fuzzy feeling for the rest of the day, like I'd had a morning coffee-visit with her or something. I guess in my mind I did! But now I miss her. It's a double edged sword for me. I have to somewhat disconnect from her in order to not miss her so much...but this little, wonderful surprise kind of awakened my longing to have more time with her. I haven't figured out how to miss her and long for time with her, let her go to have her own life during her college years, and not grieve. It sucks!
It's a glimpse into what parenthood with my own college-age children may be like...and it's one that I could live without.

I wouldn't trade the love, and bond, that I have with Chael for anything... or the grieving that it inevitably brought into my life because she HAD to grow up and make her own life. My healthily letting go has been my challenge, not hers. You might say, these growing pains of mine have been inevitable too. I'm proud of what she's working towards, what she's accomplishing now, the woman she's growing into...and I wouldn't want her to still be at home at my beck and call. She's living out the life that she's been given, to paraphrase Amy Grant.
BUT...if I had the chance to go back in time for one single lazy day...I'd take it.

Amy Grant wrote a song for her sister, as she saw her grieving the loss of her oldest son who'd gone off to college.

The first time I heard this song I started thinking about what it would be like when Michaela went away to school...oh my heart!

Your smile lights up a room
Life a candle in the dark
It warms me through and through
And I guess that I had dreamed
We would never be apart
But that dream did not come true

Missing you is just a part of living
Missing you feels like a way of life
I'm living out the life that I've been given
But baby I still wish you were mine

And I cannot hear the telephone
Jangle on the wall
And not feel a hopeful thrill
And I cannot help but smile
At any news of you at all
And I guess I always will

Missing you is just a part of living.

Missing you feels like a way of life.

I'm living out the life that I've been given...

But baby I still wish you were mine.

Love, B

I Come to the Garden Alone...

We are gearing up for our first day at our homeschool co-op, St. Gregory the Great, tomorrow. How exciting! We had a wonderful, really fun day, last Saturday with the families from the co-op. The back-to-school picnic was hosted in one of the families homes. The children had a ball playing in the sprinklers with the other kids...and we adults had a grand time sipping wine and yakking it up in the shade. Or hiding out in the air conditioning...you do the math.
What an amazing group of people! Matt had a great time too, and that makes it all the more fun for me. You know how it is...you make new friends, and hope that your hubby will connect with them in some way. When he does see what you see, sigh. It doesn't always work that way, but when it does it's lovely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and later I wrote some more...

I looked out the kitchen windows this morning while sipping my coffee, and the yard called to me. I then spent a good part of the morning weeding out there. This darn mid-summer knee injury really threw a monkey wrench into my gardening plans. In early spring we created a little rock garden area next to the patio, complete with water fountain, plantings (all plants with varying shades of purple blooms), and my grandmothers beautifully rustic St. Francis statue. In the rock garden I also planted a wooden planter full of herbs that we've been enjoying all summer. What a treat. In May, the children and I created a "Mary Garden" in the back corner of the yard. We (let's get real, the grunt work was Matt and I, not the kids) planted the most fragrant pink rose bushes I've ever experienced. They smell exactly like rose essential oil! There are also various Hybrid lilies, Day Lilies, Columbine, Ballerina Guara, and Oriental Iris'. I also planted an Ingrid Bergman Rose bush next to the rock garden...and talk about a prolific bloomer! The most spectacular, velvet red roses. On the other side of the yard I planted two Lilac bushes, two Concord Grape vines...and in the back of the yard near the Mary Garden we planted a Peony. All these plants have flourished, despite the total lack of love and care they've had over the last month. I couldn't imagine balancing on one leg to weed...and I just couldn't ask Matt to do it, he was doing everything else that I couldn't do! So today I finally paid the piper, and went out there and tried to beat back the jungle. I swear, those weeds were trying to take over the yard. Much to my amazement, there didn't seem to be an casualties...probably thanks to all the rain we had over the last 2 months. Even the Bleeding Heart plant in the rock garden finally took off after seemingly struggling for it's life for most of the summer.

Why am I boring you with these details about my out-of-control gardens? As I was carefully pulling out more exotic looking weeds than I've ever seen, it got me thinking about the weeding my own life needs sometimes. I've been working to be focused on all the beauty in my life, because I can lean more towards being a glass half empty girl. I wore a bracelet this summer to help me stay conscious about rejecting negativity in my life in all it's insidious forms. It helped a lot! I stayed clear with myself about wanting to have healthy boundaries and not get caught up in the self-induced drama of other peoples lives. I worked on being more aware of my reflexive anger...and I'm still working on that! Matt and I did a lot of praying together this summer, and both are feeling like the Lord is smack dab in the middle of our lives...and it's incredible. I go through periods of seeming stagnancy...or so it feels...and then I have some internal and external catching up to do. I'm not sure what I'm catching up with, maybe my own expectations. Nonetheless, todays yard work made me think about the Great Gardener...who lets me flourish or flounder under my own steam, via my free will...but then can always be counted on to come in and start pulling out all the weeds that have grown in my life, when I call out for it. All this thinking has me humming a song I love...

In The Garden

"I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses; And the voice I hear falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own; And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice is so sweet the birds hush their singing; And the melody that He gave to me within my heart is ringing.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own; And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.

I'd stay in the garden with Him though the night around me be falling; But He bids me go; Through the voice of woe, His voice to me is calling.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own; And the joy we
share as we tarry there, none other has ever known."

Hugs, Brig

Sad day for serious music lovers, the world over...

Luciano Pavarotti, opera's biggest superstar of the late 20th century, died Thursday. He was 71.

He was the son of a singing baker and became the king of the high C's.

Pavarotti, who had been diagnosed last year with pancreatic cancer and underwent treatment last month, died at his home in his native Modena at 5 a.m., his manager told The Associated Press in an e-mailed statement.

His wife, Nicoletta, four daughters and sister were among family at friends at his side, manager Terri Robson said.

"The Maestro fought a long, tough battle against the pancreatic cancer," Robson said. "In fitting with the approach that characterised his life and work, he remained positive until finally succumbing to the last stages of his illness."

Pavarotti's charismatic personna and ebullient showmanship — but most of all his creamy and powerful voice — made him the most beloved and celebrated tenor since the great Caruso and one of the few opera singers to win crossover fame as a popular superstar.

For serious fans, the unforced beauty and thrilling urgency of Pavarotti's voice made him the ideal interpreter of the Italian lyric repertory, especially in the 1960s and '70s when he first achieved stardom. For millions more, his thrilling performances of standards like "Nessun Dorma" from Puccini's "Turandot" came to represent what opera is all about.

"Nessun Dorma" turned out to be Pavarotti's last aria, sung at the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics in Turin in February 2006. His last full-scale concert was at Taipei in December 2005, and his farewell to opera was in Puccini's "Tosca" at New York's Metropolitan in March 2004.

Instantly recognizable from his charcoal black beard and tuxedo-busting girth, Pavarotti radiated an intangible magic that helped him win hearts in a way Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras — his partners in the "Three Tenors" concerts — never quite could.

"I always admired the God-given glory of his voice — that unmistakable special timbre from the bottom up to the very top of the tenor range," Domingo said in a statement from Los Angeles.

Pavarotti, who seemed equally at ease singing with soprano Joan Sutherland as with the Spice Girls, scoffed at accusations that he was sacrificing his art in favor of commercialism.
"The word 'commercial' is exactly what we want," he said after appearing in the "Three Tenors" concerts. "We've reached 1.5 billion people with opera. If you want to use the word 'commercial,' or something more derogatory, we don't care. Use whatever you want."

In the annals of that rare and coddled breed, the operatic tenor, it may well be said the 20th century began with Enrico Caruso and ended with Pavarotti. Other tenors — Domingo included — may have drawn more praise from critics for their artistic range and insights, but none could equal the combination of natural talent and personal charm that so endeared Pavarotti to audiences.

"Pavarotti is the biggest superstar of all," the late New York Times music critic Harold Schonberg once said. "He's correspondingly more spoiled than anybody else. They think they can get away with anything. Thanks to the glory of his voice, he probably can."

In his heyday, he was known as the "King of the High C's" for the ease with which he tossed off difficult top notes. In fact it was his ability to hit nine glorious high C's in quick succession that turned him into an international superstar singing Tonio's aria "Ah! Mes amis," in Donizetti's "La Fille du Regiment" at the Met in 1972.

From Beijing to Buenos Aires, people immediately recognized his incandescent smile and lumbering bulk, clutching a white handkerchief as he sang arias and Neapolitan folk songs, pop numbers and Christmas carols for hundreds of thousands in outdoor concerts.

The son of a baker who was an amateur singer, Pavarotti was born Oct. 12, 1935. He had a meager upbringing, though he said it was rich with happiness.
"Our family had very little, but I couldn't imagine one could have any more," Pavarotti said.

As a boy, Pavarotti showed more interest in soccer than his studies, but he also was fond of listening to his father's recordings of tenor greats like Beniamino Gigli, Tito Schipa, Jussi Bjoerling and Giuseppe Di Stefano, his favorite.

Among his close childhood friends was Mirella Freni, who would eventually become a soprano and an opera great herself. The two studied singing together and years later ended up making records and concerts together.

In his teens, Pavarotti joined his father, also a tenor, in the church choir and local opera chorus. He was influenced by the American movie actor-singer Mario Lanza.
"In my teens I used to go to Mario Lanza movies and then come home and imitate him in the mirror," Pavarotti said.

Singing was still nothing more than a passion while Pavarotti trained to become a teacher and began working in a school.

But at 20, he traveled with his chorus to an international music competition in Wales. The Modena group won first place, and Pavarotti began to dedicate himself to singing.
With the encouragement of his then-fiancee, Adua, he started lessons, selling insurance to pay for them. He studied with Arrigo Pola and later Ettore Campogalliani.

In 1961, Pavarotti won a local competition and with it a debut as Rodolfo in Puccini's "La Boheme."
He followed with a series of successes in small opera houses throughout Europe before his 1963 debut at Covent Garden in London, where he stood in for Di Stefano as Rodolfo.

Having impressed conductor Richard Bonynge, Pavarotti was given a role opposite Bonynge's wife, Sutherland, in a Miami production of "Lucia di Lamermoor." They subsequently signed him for a 14-week tour of Australia.

It was the recognition Pavarotti needed to launch his career. He also credited Sutherland with teaching him how to breathe correctly.

Pavarotti's major debuts followed — at La Scala in Milan in 1965, San Francisco in 1967 and New York's Metropolitan Opera House in 1968.

Throughout his career, Pavarotti struggled with a much-publicized weight problem. His love of food caused him to balloon to a reported 396 pounds in 1978.
"Maybe this time I'll really do it and keep it up," he said during one of his constant attempts at dieting.

Pavarotti, who had been trained as a lyric tenor, began taking on heavier dramatic roles, such as Manrico in Verdi's "Trovatore" and the title role in "Otello."

In the mid-1970s, Pavarotti became a true media star. He appeared in television commercials and began singing in hugely lucrative mega-concerts outdoors and in stadiums around the world. Soon came joint concerts with pop stars. A concert in New York's Central Park in 1993 drew 500,000 fans.

Pavarotti's recording of "Volare" went platinum in 1988.

In 1990, he appeared with Domingo and Carreras in a concert at the Baths of Caracalla in Rome for the end of soccer's World Cup. The concert was a huge success, and the record known as "The Three Tenors" was a best-seller and was nominated for two Grammy awards. The video sold over 750,000 copies.

The three-tenor extravaganza became a mini-industry and widely imitated. With a follow-up album recorded at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles in 1994, the three have outsold every other performer of classical music. A 1996 tour earned each tenor an estimated $10 million.

Pavarotti liked to mingle with pop stars in his series of charity concerts, "Pavarotti & Friends," held annually in Modena. He performed with artists as varied as Ricky Martin, James Brown and the Spice Girls.
The performances raised some eyebrows but he always shrugged off the criticism.
Some say the "word 'pop' is a derogatory word to say 'not important' — I do not accept that," Pavarotti said in a 2004 interview with the AP. "If the word 'classic' is the word to say 'boring,' I do not accept. There is good and bad music."

It was not just his annual extravaganza that saw Pavarotti involved in humanitarian work.
During the 1992-95 Bosnia war, he collected humanitarian aid along with U2 lead singer Bono, and after the war he financed and established the Pavarotti Music Center in the southern city of Mostar to offer Bosnia's artists the opportunity to develop their skills.

He performed at benefit concerts to raise money for victims of tragedies such as an earthquake in December 1988 that killed 25,000 people in northern Armenia.

He had been accused in 1996 of filing false tax returns for 1989-91.
Pavarotti always denied wrongdoing, saying he paid taxes wherever he performed. But, upon agreeing to the settlement, he said: "I cannot live being thought not a good person."

Pavarotti was preparing to leave New York in July 2006 to resume a farewell tour when doctors discovered a malignant pancreatic mass. He underwent surgery in a New York hospital, and all his remaining 2006 concerts were canceled.

Pancreatic cancer is one of the most dangerous forms of the disease, though doctors said the surgery offered improved hopes for survival.

"I was a fortunate and happy man," Pavarotti told Italian daily Corriere della Sera in an interview published about a month after the surgery. "After that, this blow arrived."
"And now I am paying the penalty for this fortune and happiness," he told the newspaper.

Fans were still waiting for a public appearance a year after his surgery. In the summer, Pavarotti taught a group of selected students and worked on a recording of sacred songs, a work expected to be released in early 2008, according to his manager. He mostly divided his time between Modena and his villa in the Adriatic seaside resort of Pesaro.

Just this week, the Italian government honored him with an award for "excellence in Italian culture," and La Scala and Modena's theater announced a joint Luciano Pavarotti award.

In his final statement, Pavarotti said the awards gave him "the opportunity to continue to celebrate the magic of a life dedicated to the arts and it fills me with pride and joy to have been able to promote my magnificent country abroad."

He will be remembered in Italy as "the last great Italian voice able to move the world," said Bruno Cagli, president of the Santa Cecilia National Academy in Rome.

The funeral will be held Saturday inside Modena's cathedral, Mayor Giorgio Pighi told SkyTG24.

Wonderful Workshop Opportunity!

I wanted to share this with all of you. Caren is a dear friend, and hugely talented artist. This should be a really wonderful opportunity for everyone who registers! ~Brig

Mighty Visions…

Join us for a workshop of play, community, reflection & personal exploration where you can bring into sharper focus what you want by creating your own MIGHTY VISION BOARD!
Do you know what you want?
To stay focused on this all important question, we need new ways to capture our answers. Creating a vision board is a phenomenal way to get clear about what you really want.
This visual prompt will help keep you focused on your vision!
As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

We have two offerings…
Both workshops will be held in the studios of
CFO Design @ 18 S. Maple Ave. in Basking Ridge, NJ

September 18th and September 25th 7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.­­ $50 (snacks included)
-OR-
Saturday, October 13th 11:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. $60 (lunch included)

We will supply the materials, you supply the vision.

Workshop Leaders Artist & Founder of CFO Design, Caren Frost Olmsted Intuitive & Holistic Educator, Jennifer Urezzio

Call or email to reserve your spot!
info@cfodesign.com or 908.208.7516

A Taste of Heaven

The weather for this years Labor Day weekend was spectacular. An absolute dream! It was such a relaxing long weekend, it feels like we went away on vacation...but we never left Budd Lake!

Maura and Seth hosted their annual "Buddstock"...and this year took it to a whole new level. They sent out invites to family and friends, and people arrived all weekend long for camping and relaxation. This years Buddstock was at their new home, the farm on Lozier Road...so the festivities were spread out all over their acreage, in their large farm house, in the barn (aka Man Den, to some), around the large fire pit area, in the woods, etc. It was fun to watch people pitching tents on Saturday, finding just the right spot...some chose close to the house (esp. those with kids), and some ventured out to the sunny upper field behind the barn...and the young boys chose the camp site down in the woods.

Saturday we all just sat around in the sunshine and breeze, drinking various yummy things, knitting (me), laughing a LOT...letting the kids run amock, many of the men beginning a cut-throat Quates (sp?) tournament over near the barn, that would last all weekend. Vickie (a dear friend of Maura's, and a good friend of the family after all these years) gave all the children extensive pony rides all over the yard. She boards her two ponies at Maura's right now...talk about awesome. The kids had fun feeding the horses hay all weekend too...those poor animals probably were sick of it by Sunday...but they got a LOT of hugs and much petting. My children were in heaven.

Seth had also finished off the loft of the barn (Game Central), and the air hockey and foozeball kept that a hot spot for the kids, and many others as well. It was a totally mellow day, and the evening consisted of nothing more than many smores and impromtu music around the fire.

Oh, the Big Dipper was right over Maura's house all weekend, it looked like it was pouring down onto the roof. Isn't that amazing?

Early Sunday afternoon Vickie's daughter Cora (7 yrs. old?) had a impromtu lesson on her horse, and we were a very enthusiastic audience for her as she jumped her beautiful pony all over the yard. It was a bit surreal...I was in the sunroom on the couch with my knee elevated, sipping coffee, reading a wonderful book...and the next thing I know she's going over jumps that her mom's set up in the yard right outside of where I'm sitting. Everyone was cheering to her success...she had a fun crowd to perform for. Seriously AWESOME.

Aunt Mare and her significant-other, Dave, came on Sunday afternoon and joined us in our vigorously lazy lounging...and he graciously kept us supplied with the best made Cosmo's I've ever had. Maura's friend Athena came that day too, and she and all the women (and my Briana), and MY FATHER, went up into "fairy land" (that large secluded open patch of sunshiney field back behind the barn, next to the giant peppermint patch) and did a whole yoga class for/with them.

From where Mare, Shannon and I were sitting on our asses sucking down our cocktails it looked quite dreamy. LOL

We had a delicious hodge podge of foods for lunch...dinner...it was a continual graze of bbq'd meats, delish side dishes, chips and dips, cookies...you name it. After dinner we celebrated Shannon's b'day with some killer decadent cakes and large quantities of Hagen Daz (sp?) vanilla ice cream with hot fudge. Yum.

Later that night some of the guys from the jazz band that Meg and Shan sing with came and set up all their gear, and we had the most amazing night of jazz under the stars. We sat facing the musicians, in a semi circle around the giant fire, and just soaked it all up. It was so awesome to get to hear all my sisters (except for Erin who was away celebrating her anniversary, and didn't join us until Monday) take turns singing their favorite standards, my father joining in with his guitar to do his favorite bossa nova tunes... and the musicians were spectacular. My favorite was the horn guy (sorry, can't remember your name, Horn Guy!) who played the clarinet, and the sax. It was so soulful in the evening air...everyone bundled in sweat shirts and just chilling out.

That night all the kids were snug into their various tents by 9:30, they'd had a good wind-down all tucked in together on the couches in the family room watching Peter Pan. Too cute. Matt, Briana and Brandon had our new tent set up, and they both told us the next day how cozy it was to lay in the tent listening to all the music. Around 11:00 the jazz guys packed up all their stuff and joined us at the fire. Various drums were brought out...and things got a little tribal.

Monday morning was my favorite, people lounging around in their p.j.'s drinking coffee, reminicing about the night before, laughing about how old and sore and pooped we all felt...and how we didn't want the weekend to end yet. Seth (Maura's husband) and Matt cleaned the kitchen that morning while most of us were still snoozing...or pretending to snooze to prolong the delisciousness of hearing people starting to stir all around...the house was coming alive down below my perch in the guest room...it was heavenly. My hubby took on the role of Egg Master, and cooked eggs for anyone and everyone as they awoke and wandered into the kitchen. Matt and I had a wonderful and increasingly uproarious visit with Ian (Shan's husband) on the sunporch, talking about our upcoming trip to Disney with mounting excitement. (it might have been slightly due to the copious quantities of coffee we'd been drinking)

Sunday afternoon the children were gathered around the campfire pretending to "do music" themselves...with guitars and mic stands as their props...they took turns performing for one another, totally oblivious to us boring adults. It was super cute.

All the remaining adults were gathered in the dappled sunshine under the giant tree in the middle of the yard sharing cold drinks and conversation.


The icing on the cake of our perfect weekend was when Erin and Lou arrived and made a big announcement...they are having their first baby!
Baby Glynn/Palma is due in April, a few weeks before Meg's wedding.
Many screams, tears, hugs were exchanged...it was just incredible.
It was almost too much, I felt on the brink of a good sob for quite a while after such joyfulness for all of us.
It was such a gift.

The day lingered, as did most of the family...I don't think anyone was interested in heading back to the "real world." But true to form, all good things must come to an end.

Slowly, tents were taken down, bedding rolled up, cars packed, children were sent on trash patrol (Brandon used his large Tonka dump truck to collect anything he could find in the grass...and he was thrilled)...and gradually everyone trickled home .

One of my favorite artists, Sara Groves, says it in a way I only wish I could...


Every Minute



I am long on staying * I am slow to leave* Especially when it comes to you my friend * You have taught me to slow down * And to prop up my feet * It's the fine art of being who I am *


And I can't figure out * Why you want me around * I'm not the smartest person I have ever met * But somehow that doesn't matter * No it never really mattered to you at all



** And at the risk of wearing out my welcome * At the risk of self-discovery * I'll take every moment * Every minute that you'll give me **



And I can think of time when families all lived together * Four generations in one house * And the table was full of good food * And friends and neighbors * That's not how we like now *



Cause if you sit at home you're a loser * Couldn't you find anything better to do * Well no I couldn't think of one thing * I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you **



And at the risk of wearing out my welcome * At the risk of self-discovery* I'll take every moment* And every minute that you'll give me **



And I wish all the people I love the most * Could gather in one place * And know each other and love each other well * And I wish we could all go camping * And lay beneath the stars * and have nothing to do and stories to tell *



We'd sit around the campfire * And we'd make each other laugh remembering when * You're the first one I'm inviting * Always know that you're invited my friend



** And at the risk of wearing out my welcome * At the risk of self-discovery * I'll take every moment * And every minute that you'll give me * Every moment and every minute that you'll give me...every moment and every minute that you'll give me...every minute.



Maura and Seth once again gifted our entire family, and many friends, with an opportunity to be together, to play together, and to rejoice together! We'd had fantastic group meals, lots and lots of music, the most idyllic setting of sunshine and breezes, plenty of peaceful relaxation, hearty doses of laughter, very content children, and news of a new miracle in our midst.

What more could anyone ask for?



My only thought at this point is...Thank You, Jesus.

My sister...

So the kids and I were watching the live action Disney version of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella a few days ago. It stars Brandy, Jason Alexander (Seinfeld's "George"), Whoopi Goldberg, Whitney Houston, Bernadette Peters, etc. It is REALLY good! Anyway... about half way through it Briana turns to me and says, "Mama, Cinderella looks just like La La." (Michaela, if you didn't know, is nicknamed LaLa.) I said, "Oh reallly..." and I took a good look at Brandy, yes, BRANDY...with her gorgeous head full of waist length braids (a weave, of course)...and had to ask Bri, "Are you SURE she looks like LaLa?" "Oh yes..." she insisted. "Look at that precious face she makes, she's so beautiful...just like LaLa." Putting it like that, I had to concur that indeed, Michaela and Brandy are the spitting image of one another. Cute, huh?

Feng Shi

It is exciting to see how the field of Interior Design is broadening it’s understanding of traditional design concepts. There is much to be learned outside of the European influenced field, from traditions around the globe. This particularly interests me because of the way it helps us understand each other as people of different cultures and traditions.
Unfortunately, Feng Shui has been more associated with the trends of the “New Age” movement, and it has taken some time for it to be associated with legitimate Interior Design. Feng Shui is the study of how to arrange your environment to enhance the quality of your life. Although the reasons for, and the results of, successful Feng Shui application to a building can seem very psychological and even emotional, the reasons are not due to any “hocus-pocus”. Yes, the experience of Feng Sui is about joining the seen and the unseen forces of nature, but it is also based on principles that are reasonable and full of common sense in any day and age.
Feng Shui, translated as “Wind and Water”, observes and balances the seen and unseen energies of the things around us. Like wind and water, you and your environment are two forces of nature. Your desires, goals, talents, attitudes, and feelings~ like the unseen force of wind; are constantly interacting and influencing each other. Just like the interaction between the wind and water, when you and your home blend in a harmonious way, the effect is comforting, welcoming, and positive. In an environment with those qualities, your health, prosperity, and very happiness thrive. Is this due to a sense of well-being brought on by the pleasing characteristics of our environment, thus bringing a sense of contentment and empowerment that overflows into other aspects of our lives? That is certainly possible. To artists, the idea that the colors, shapes, balance, and continuity of the visual world around us affect us deeply makes total sense. We know how powerful color alone can be to the human psyche. The practice of Feng Shui takes this even a step further. The primary goal of Feng Shui is to bring you and your home into harmony so that you are not just surviving your life, but that you are living in harmony with all that is around you, in part because you have made a intentional decision about the nature of your surroundings.
The philosophical foundation of Feng Shui is as relevant today in our Western culture as it was thousands of years ago in China. The ancient Chinese had an understanding of Physics and Psychology that is astounding! And really, you could say that Physics is the “head” of Feng Shui, and Psychology is the “heart”.
There are two primary schools of Feng Shui, the Form School and the Compass School. While cut from the same philosophical mold, they appear to be quite different. When you start reading various books on Feng Shui, it is confusing to see how differently it is approached. Form School Feng Shui basically focuses on the arrangement of “forms” or objects in and around a building or home, and how this arrangement helps to achieve optimal Ch’i (vital energy) flow. This type of Feng Shui is more of a fine art than a strict science, and is flexible in meeting peoples needs, and in honoring personal tastes of clients...while still improving the flow of Ch’i.
Compass School Feng Shui relies mostly on the use of a luo pan, or Chinese compass, and the birth information of homeowners to assess the environment around them. Based on numerical findings, the Compass school is especially useful when you’re building your own home and can choose where to place elements like doors, windows, etc. For someone with an already build home/office/room, this can be restrictive and a bit more inflexible. Also, for our Western minds and religious backgrounds, this can seem more on the edge of “hocus pocus”, and less on the side of practical scientific thought. There are many subgroups of both these types of Feng Shui though, and the combinations assure that there is something that can work for everyone. In terms of Western homes, life style, and mind-set, Form School Feng Shui techniques can produce excellent results. In terms of my home and office, it‘s what I’m trying to integrate.
It would be easy to write volumes on all the aspects of Feng Shui. Briefly I’ll talk about the “interior” work, or awareness learned through this amazing practice. I will then try to share as basically as possible the specifics of placement, etc.
Feng Shui, at it’s best, teaches you to see the things around you in a whole new way. You learn that your emotional life and spiritual life are intimately connected. This is not a new concept to someone with an active or vibrant faith or religious background of any kind. To some people, the idea that happiness and our environment are two forces of nature “who” are intimately connected is a brand new idea though. The realization that our homes can literally strengthen or weaken our health, wealth, and happiness brings with it a significant shift in perception. When we open our eyes we can no longer view our homes as just “things”, or our belongings as just inanimate “stuff.” Our homes, and all the possessions within them, suddenly come alive and are intimately connected to the quality of our life. We see that our difficulties are not separate from, but actually held in place by, our homes. Thus, the vital connection between the people and the “beings” they call home can begin to happen. As a holistic art and science, Feng Shui is meant to balance and harmonize our inner and outer domains. There are basic principles that make up the foundation of Feng Shui, and provide us with guidelines for living. When we integrate these guidelines into our lives, we see and interact with the world in a new and powerful way.
One principle in the Feng Shiu philosophy is that every person, place, and thing is alive with vital energy called Ch’i. This concept is totally all-inclusive, changing our physical existence from a world “that” is largely inanimate, to a world “who” is completely alive! When we see our world this way, as being made up of animate “beings,” we make very different decisions. Indiscriminate destruction of our natural world, as well as our amassing huge quantities of “stuff”, possessions we don’t need or have any emotional connection to, change when we no longer believe it’s all just “dirt” or “stuff”. Everything that lives with you holds certain memories, associations, and feelings in place. That’s why it’s so vial in Feng Shiu to assess what your material possessions are alive with! What are they “saying” to you? The quality of your inner life is constantly influenced by what you’re keeping alive in your surroundings. They may carry a mixed message that is “mixing” up your life and personal growth. The associations we have with certain objects can help us stay stuck in a place emotionally that we want to move away from. We need to assess each belonging of ours and see what our association is. If the association feeds us in a healthy way, then it’s a keeper! One of the primary Feng Shui goals is to surround yourself with “environmental affirmations”, the things “who” are alive with life-affirming thoughts, feelings, memories, and associations. When we design our environment to reflect our ideal state of conciousness, we are opening the pathways for happiness, health, and prosperity to take up residence with us.
Another principle of Feng Shui is that every person, place, and thing is connected by Ch’i. The energy that connects us to our personal environment extends to include our entire planet. Energetically, there is no such thing as isolation. In the study of Physics, we know this to be true. Although our emotional connections are usually strongest with the people, places, and things that are close by, we are essentially in relationship with everyone and every thing on earth, in a physical sense.
The quality of our relationships does not stop with people. We are also intimately connected to every single thing that surrounds us, in some way or another. The goal is to be conscious of every thing we’re connected to, which means every thing we own. If we lived in a cave and had two or three actual personal belongings, this would be easy! Imagine being consciously aware of each and every belonging you possess, it makes my head spin! So...to honor our connection with all these things, we need to let go of excess, and organize the rest. The reason this is so vital is because our things, and the presentation of them, and the care we give them, reflect our inner world and hold in place the conditions of our lives. External order and harmony reflect internal order and peace, while external clutter and chaos reflects an internal mess! This doesn’t mean that we live with a tooth brush and one mug! But, our material well-being has room to grow in an orderly environment. Letting go of possessions that are unwanted and unneeded creates opportunities for the things we want and need to come into our lives. So, in short, we need to live with what we love, put safety and comfort first, and simplify and organize.
If we believe that every object in our home has living energy, then where these objects are placed is very important. Windows, doors, lighting, color, the combination of certain textures, etc. will all affect the healthy energy flow. Besides an understanding of energy (Ch’i) flow, the most important tool to use in Feng Shui is the Bagua Map. You correlate the structure of your home, and each room individually, with a map, or a format made up of nine boxes. Imagine a tick-tack-toe board with nine boxes, and you have the visual of the map. The word Bagua literally means “eight trigrams.” These trigrams form the basic building blocks of the I Ching (the Chinese Book of Changes) and are each associated with (among other things) blessings such as health, wealth, love, and creativity. The Bagua Map, or map of the eight trigrams, charts where each of these blessings is located in your home. Ultimately, the Bagua Map leads you to the discovery that all parts of your home and your life are of equal importance.
The Bagua Map can be applied to any fixed shape, including buildings, rooms, and furniture (like a desk top). Using a floor plan or a “birds-eye-view” of the building, you lay the map on top of it, so to speak, and see what areas are out of balance. Each area on the map correlates to an aspect of life: Wealth and Prosperity, Fame and Reputation, Love and Marriage, Children and Creativity, Health and Family, Knowledge and Self Cultivation, Career, Helpful People and Travel. You learn the specifics about what elements strengthen each area, and then you learn how to enhance where those areas happen to fall in your home. The specifics of how to use the map are easy, but detailed. I could write pages on the map alone. Suffice it to say that when you lay the map on your home, and then on each individual room, you see what “areas” are being affected by elements that are detrimental to them. When you compare this discovery to the specific “issues” in your life, or the areas that need improvement, etc., it is shocking to say the least. My husband and I realized that the Children and Creativity area of the entry way of our house has had a dead and semi-rotting plant in it for about two years. Pathetic, yes, but it was up out of eye sight, and we’d just forgotten about it. It got thrown away as soon as we made the discovery! As vital as the Bagua Map is to implementing Feng Shui into our homes, and lives, that is not all you need to know. We need to study and find out what are the specific things we can do in each area of the map to change situations, and energy, to enhance our lives and homes.
Feng Shui teaches us how to recognize the Yin and Yang in all objects. It is the true balance of these two extremes that brings a deep sense of comfort and “rightness” to our surroundings. Usually we don’t even recognize what it is that feels so right about a certain space. Yin is associated with curved shapes and small, cold, dark, wet, or ornate settings and items. On the other hand, Yang is associated with angular shapes and large, light, hot, or open settings and items. Every item in our home is either Yin or Yang, or if we are extremely lucky, some of them may be a combination of both. Either way all the spaces around us need a healthy balance of these things.
If we are to balance the Yin and Yang, we must have an understanding of the five elements themselves. The elements are Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water...and that these are basically the building blocks of everything physical on the planet. These things manifest in countless ways and combinations around us. Just as every item in our home is Ying or Yang, they are also associated with one of these elements. For example...a marble tabletop is associated with Metal, a mirror with Water, or plants with Wood. Every color has an association to these elements as well...red with Fire, blues and greens with Wood, or yellow with Earth. The darker a color gets the more “Watery” it becomes, such as black, navy blue, and dark brown. On the other hand, the lighter a color gets, the more it becomes associated with Metal. There are countless ways to balance each of these elements in each area of your home, and you can learn what elements are needed in what areas to enhance that “issue” or need in your life. I have personally read a number of books, and each book has a slightly different take on the above elements. But, you can get a great idea by reading and comparing several books, about how to mix and balance the elements in your home and life.
In learning more and more about Feng Shui, there was a part of me that just saw the “sense” in it. Understanding that everything around us has energy to emit, and that there are ways to inhibit and enhance this natural, healthy flow of energy seemed practical and full of wisdom. It has been a tremendously fun, exciting, and eye-opening experience for my husband and I to read books together...looking around our home and seeing things that made us say, “That explains it!” I’ve been mapping rooms, and trying to reconfigure furniture plans, he’s been working on “Feng Shuiing”, as he calls it, the yard and external of our house. As Bill Murray would say, “Baby steps...”... and they are. We have been amazed at the difference a few small changes have made already in terms of the basic comfy cozy feeling of our home, and we are looking forward to getting our whole house in balance. Please know that this paper does not even scratch the surface of how to implement Feng Shui into ones life. I couldn’t begin to do the subject justice in just a few pages. If your interest has been peeked, there are tons of books out there that will make it clearer, and easier to follow. If you are an artist, it is really very simple and basic to our instincts and to the sensitivities that I think are just part of our nature because we are so in tune with our surroundings on an emotional level. And if you are not an artist, it is easy to learn! I’ve included a small list of books that I’ve read that are really wonderful. There is nothing more fun than passing on the title of a great book! Enjoy!

BOOKS:
Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, by Karen Kingston
Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui, by Karen Kingston
Feng Shui Design, by Sarah Rossbach
Feng Shui Made Easy, by William Spear
Sacred Space, by Denise Linn
Feng Shui Do’s & Taboo’s, by Angi Ma Wong

Shannon and Ian's Wedding Toast...given by me!

There are too few times in this life when we get to stand up and publicly share what a gift someone’s life has been to us. Sadly, all too often we only hear speeches like that at funerals, when the person being talked about doesn’t get to hear how they‘ve impacted others. So bear with me as I take this opportunity to share with you a little bit about this beautiful bride...my sister, Shannon Mary.

I was an only child for 4 years...until Shannon came along. Little did I know that she was only the first of 5 additional sisters who’d be joining our family. When Shannon was born I received my very first Barbie doll as my “congratulations on being a big sister!” gift. I’ve always credited Shannon with finally getting my Barbie collecting off to a festive start! Shannon was my first sister in this world, and I think back on the two years that we had alone, the only Glynn girls...and it is like a hazy dream. We shared a bedroom in our first home...the married student housing at Ohio State University. Her crib was next to my bed, and I remember that she’d wake me in the morning with her baby gurgles. You might say she was my first sister, and my first alarm clock!

Maura came along two years later...and then Meg with Erin close on her heals...and finally Michaela. Shannon, Maura and I were the Big Girls...and I realized only a few short years ago that in my mind I still called the three of us...the Big Girls, and the others the Younger Girls. When I think back on our childhood, I just remember what a wonderful playmate Shannon was. She was always up for playing school in the classroom we’d created in the basement...and she’d be the principal, Sister Mary...and I’d send Maura (and any neighborhood children we could rope into our school) to the “office” for disciplinary chats with Sister. Shannon was always a lead in the “shows” we put on for our parents...whether she was Joseph in the nativity, or one of three Santa's in a puppet show...and we’d act out scenes from all our favorite musicals (we had no TV, what would YOU do?). Shan would let Maura or I sing all the female parts while she tackled the male parts. The soundtracks to Oklahoma, and the Sound of Music were our favorites...and we swooned over Mom’s coveted Greatest Hits double album Barry Manilow. If we weren’t in the basement playing dress up while listening to Bread and soaking up their harmony...we were singing When Irish Eyes are Smiling, You Are My Sunshine, and various tv. commercials, while Shan, Maura and I tackled the large quantity of dirty dinner dishes...oh...and the thing that entertained us maybe the most during our dish washing sessions...we’d sing songs in the weirdest, most ugly voices that we could...creating all sorts of horribly dissonant and off-key harmonies...and then we’d complement each other on the most horrific parts...until Mom would get quite upset and tell us to stop it, and in so many words...“what if you mess up your developing musical ears and end up singing like that!” There’s no way to separate the memories of our childhood from the music in our life.

Shannon was my roommate for the better part of 18 years...and let me tell you, despite the years of her potty training when we shared a double bed...need I say more...they were really wonderful! We still laugh over our memories of the games we’d make up, and the silliness we’d share, as she lay in the top bunk and I in the bottom...and Mom calling up the stairs, “Girls, that‘s ENOUGH!“ inducing further hysterics that we’d try to muffle with our pillows. One of the things we loved to play as children was Mass... I’d be the priest, Maura was the alter server, and Shannon would be our Music Minster...playing and cantering all the parts of the mass on the piano, having learned them by ear... (and I’m talking she was a little kid!). When Shan was in kindergarten it became apparent that her singing and playing the piano were special talents. In many ways she provided a continual soundtrack for our family as we grew over the years...our soundtrack included such rousing hits as the jingle from a Cheerios commercial...aptly entitled, “the unsinkable taste of cheerios...” as well as her collaboration with our Pop on “There’s a hole in the bicycle tire”...and the spontaneous Birthday jam that is alive and well today, that was birthed at one of our family birthday parties. Shannon’s musical talent not only entertained us, but she also frequently served as inspiration and musical leader to our joined creative efforts as sisters as we began to get more serious about singing together.

When I was in high school Shannon started writing and singing songs about her faith. I remember how blown away I was the first time she played me a song she’d written about the Eucharist. I knew that not only was there something profound happening in her, and a wisdom far beyond her years...but it affected my faith journey immensely. There are people in this life who are just special. They bring a light with them wherever they go. They touch people, they leave an impact...I’ve always seen that light in Shannon, and it’s the light of Christ shining out of her. Whenever we could get her to play and sing one of her songs for someone...they would just listen in awe. Shannon’s music affected people, really touched them. She still has that affect on us.

During one of Shannon’s last years in high school, I found out that this huge Christian music festival in P.A. was hosting a singer/songwriter competition during their weekend long festival. I couldn’t go to the festival myself...but Mom wanted to go with Shannon and Maura and a few friends of theirs. Unbeknownst to Shannon, I registered her for the songwriting competition. The weekend was planned, and off to the festival they went. This may seem like a sneaky thing to do...but it’s like this. Although incredibly talented, Shannon was not self-promoting. She would never have agreed to this if she had time to think about it ahead of time. So as per instructions, Mom filled her in, with just enough time for her to get over to the big tent and audition her song...along with people of all ages and musical backgrounds, who’d come from all parts of the country to compete. It did not come as a surprise to anyone who knew Shannon and her music...to find out that she won . She performed her gorgeous song on the main stage to a crowd of 10,000 people. Talk about proud!

Shannon is a person of deep thoughts, strong convictions, and a heart full of tenderness and compassion for people and animals. When she was a child animals would just flock to her...we’d refer to her as a St. Francis. Nothing has changed in that area. She’s also a really talented artist...her floral arrangements, and the beautiful and elegant home she’s created are testament to that. Now I could go on and on about her triumphs in theatre during her high school and young adult years, how her ability to wrap her voice around a jazz number is extraordinary...and about the resolve and courage it takes for her to overcome her performance anxiety. But I’m sure she’s squirming in her seat enough at this point. Despite the fact that Shannon’s talents have often led her into the spot light, that’s not a place she’s comfortable living in. There is no tougher critic of Shannon than Shannon.

I know some of these memories sound a little too idyllic...we weren’t the sugary sweet fictitious Brady Bunch.. We Glynn girls would fight like normal siblings. But it was one thing to squabble with one another...but if anyone hurt one of us...Shannon would be so protective. For anyone who’s been blessed by her friendship, you’ve probably experienced what a fierce ally she is, and how protective she is of those she loves. I have some precious memories from my teen and young adult years, of being held by my little sister while I cried from a broken heart. And she’s so empathetic that sometimes she’d cry with me. She would sit on the floor of our bedroom and talk it all out with me, rail against my offender, and offer a kind of nurturing support that only she could give.

Early on Shannon had such a charisma that everyone just flocked to her. I think it’s safe to say that even today...to know Shannon is to love Shannon. In junior high I think her protective nurturing was somewhat responsible for her being nicknamed Rambo...well, and her uncanny impersonation of Sylvester Stalone... and the inexplicable penchant for wearing cammo might have had something to do with it too! No memories of Shannon would be complete if I failed to at least give a nod to the fact that she is one of the funniest, most witty, most clever people I’ve ever met. She has caused more gut busting hysterics in our family, and with friends during these 30+ yrs., than most people elicit in a life time. One of my favorite really funny memories of Shan is from her Rambo era. We’d been downtown to see the Karate Kid...and you know, we came home very pumped. While waiting to be called in for dinner, and of course reenacting the movie in the driveway...Shannon did a karate kick of such magnitude that she put a hole in the side of the garage. We were so shocked we couldn‘t stop laughing...and Yeah...Mom was not amused.

Just a word of caution to the Withers boys from the Glynn girls...just in case you haven‘t already figured this out...Shannon is freakishly strong. And we’re pretty confident She Can Take You.
All joking aside...don’t be fooled by the sometimes tough tomboy persona that Shan likes to present...if you saw her in her vintage Jackie O. inspired suit, or with her curls smoothed while she channels her inner Ella Fitzgerald in song...you’d agree with me when I say, “Holy cow, what a woman!”

I’m sure any big sisters in this room will agree that watching younger sisters grow up can be a little harrowing at times. I’ve always been proud of what amazing, talented, unique, charismatic, faith-filled, truly special women each of my sisters are. Waiting for guys who are good enough for these precious sisters of mine...oh my. It’s a tall order, and I’m here to tell you that MOST don’t make the cut. When Ian came into the picture, I watched and listened...and took in his charisma and charm with my typical caution. After getting to know Ian...watching how well he loves my sister...how loyal and generous he is...how hard he works...how much he loves his family...how very smart and funny and tender hearted he is...I can tell you that there are depths there far beyond his external buff bravado. Ian is a truly good man, and he has found a truly good woman and partner in Shannon.

I was talking with Shannon one night about the beautiful, frustrating, heartbreaking, miraculous experience that marriage can be...and she quietly responded that whatever the future holds...she wants to walk this journey of life with Ian. That’s all I needed to hear.

It takes a special, and secure guy to be able to handle the energy of our very female clan...the collective force that is the SISTERS...and I know we Glynn girls conquer that the Glynn men are a truly amazing bunch...starting with our Pop, and then our brother Greg, my husband Matthew, Maura’s husband, our brother Seth, Erin’s husband, our brother Lou...and now Shannon’s husband, our brother Ian.

I’d like to offer a Celtic poem in toast to this new force of nature...the Glynn-Witters’...so, if all of you would raise your glasses with me...

“God be with thee in every pass,
Jesus be with thee on every hill,
Spirit be with thee on every stream...
Headland and ridge and Lawn;
Each sea and land, each moor and meadow,
Each lying down, each rising up,
In the trough of the waves, on the crest of the billows,
Each step of the journey thou goest.”

Cheers!

First Audition Experience...what?!

Well, today was a first.
Brandon is going to be taking tap dancing, starting in a few weeks. He's beside himself with excitement...he's been asking to take classes at Briana's dance school for 2 yrs. Bri's taking 2 ballet classes this year, and both were asked to participate in the audition process today, for the ballet companies production of The Nutcracker. The school is a regular dance school, and also the only juvenile ballet company in NJ. They both did well, and got into the show. We don't know what "roles" they will have yet. This show will give them the opportunity to work with the professionals (adults and kids) in the company, to have the extra rehearsals (dance experience) each week, and to do this really fun thing together. We've been going to see the show for the last few years, and they've been begging to "go on stage" (as they call it) from day one. I've resisted...but this year I caved in when we were asked by the schools director...she's being very generous in offering us scholarships for Bri's additional class, and Bran's tap. How could I say no? I think it will end up being a really neat experience for them, surely one we will never forget. I'll be helping with stage sets (painting props, etc.), and back stage during the performances.

Coveting thy neighbors house?

Okay, so this month I've clearly had too much time on my hands with this gimpy knee of mine. I've been fantasy shopping on-line for houses in our town...and I've had the grave misfortune of stumbling upon our dream house personified. I say "grave misfortune" because we can not buy this house now, in a year, yes, but today, NO. I have awoken almost every morning for the last week, coming out of a dream about that !@#$% house. Yesterday I was feeling so much negativity and annoyance (my polite way of saying I was feeling persnickety and mean spirited) about our sweet house. I wanted that house across the lake, by God, and nothing was going to make me feel better! It was after several hours of feeling this way that I really realized I'd allowed such an ugly green eyed monster to creep into my mind a heart. Before stumbling upon this sublime renovated 4 bedroom LOG home (yeap, not making this up...) built in 1935, and currently fully updated with every bell and freakin' whistle...I loved our little "project cottage." Suddenly, my adorable little dream cottage was not looking so adorable OR dreamy.

Okay, to be honest...I'm burned out on home reno. I don't want to paint one more bleeping thing, move one more wall, suspend my instant gratification one more iota...and yet...it is what it is. Ten years has been about 9 yrs. past what I would have ever wanted to live with in terms of this unfinished project that is our home. I'm done. But clearly, God is not. I was whining to various Saints, the Blessed Mother, and Jesus yesterday about my disapointment and my impatience. I asked that it be possible for us to move NOW...and then I grimaced as I asked for the Grace to surrender to the Lord's will and recieve the blessings He has for us, in His time and in His way. And then internally I'd stomp my foot and suck my thumb.

Today, we were blessed with the coziest rainy day...my favorite weather. I woke with a much lighter heart...the newfound ability to make a pot of coffee (haven't been able to walk for the last 3 wks. because of my injury)...and a day of snuggling with my little angels/monsters in front of a Shirley Temple movie. Don't get me wrong...I STILL WANT THAT HOUSE. But...a beautiful robin was in the bush that brushed up against the family room window today, eating these bright orange/red berries...and the rain was bouncing off the lavender pink Rose of Sharon flowers...and I had hot coffee clutched in my hands...and well, I remembered why I love this home of ours. It's not my dream home, but my dreams are being lived out here. Imagine how sad the opposite would be? No thanks.

Hugs, Brig